ARE YOU A HONKER OR HELPER?

I read a story last week about a woman whose car stalled in traffic. The gentlemen in the car behind her expressed his impatience by honking his horn every few seconds. Frustrated that her car wouldn’t start and at his insistent honking, she stepped from her car and walked back to his. Sticking her face right into his open window she said, “My car won’t start, as you can see. I wonder if you will go see if you can start it, and I will sit here in your car and honk your horn for you!”

In 1 Corinthians 10:10 we are warned honking just for the sake of honking is not only unhelpful but also unholy and spiritually very unhealthy. We are told not to complain as some did in the Old Testament — "some of them also complained, and were destroyed by the destroyer." No talent is required to sit behind a stalled car (or a stalled church) and honk. What the church desperately needs is not more honkers but more helpers.

Get real now — are you helping the church, or just honking?

For Momma

So much has happened since I last wrote on here. I have a new grandson! His name is Blake Austin, and he's so precious. He was born on May 13, 2011, a Friday at that! We brought him home on Sunday, May 15, 2011, and that was the day he met Mamaw and Papaw. When we arrived at the nursing home, all the aides were so happy to see us and they ran down to Mom's room, they wanted to see her face as she saw the baby for the first time. He was her third great grand child and first great grand son. Those girls were sitting her up in the bed getting her ready to hold the baby and Momma was all smiles, you should have heard her excited chatter! She couldn't wait to hold him. Of course she had to hug Brad first and congratulate him, but once she held Blake, she began talking to him and cried. I think we all cried at that point her aides included. We took pictures of course! How could we not! Mom and Dad with Brad and Blake, such a wonderful memory to hold forever.

Ten days later, we found we were saying goodbye to Mom. Apparently she was waiting on Blake to be born before she left for Heaven. Every day after the 15th she just continued to decline. It was hard, still is for that matter. She had a couple more visits with Blake, and we have our pictures to treasure. I knew this day was coming, and we had previously prepared for it. But she got better once she came "home" or as close as we could get her when she was transferred here in February. In February I was resigned to this end, but by May, I was adjusted to her being with us every day, even though she couldn't walk, she could still talk and visit with us. She rarely sat up in the chair, only had about 2-3 weeks of that with maybe 3-4 times actually getting out of the bed in the lift to the chair. She would tell me, I don't feel good. I'm not eating right, nothing taste good, but her spirits were good, and she loved seeing all her kids and her grand kids too. We had a wonderful Mother's day morning with her - such good pictures with Jessica, Kameran and Makenlie; Jess brought her little white fluff of a dog Lillie to see Mom and she loved on Mom, lay in the bed with her. So did Kameran, and we have a great picture of them together. I miss her, terribly already but I know she is in a wonderful place, and she is breathing free of struggles, she has no more pain, she's walking, talking with loved ones who have gone on before. Most of all, she is with God, and there is no better place to be. I love you Momma, and I will miss you everyday until we meet again.

Spring Cleaning

My goodness how time has just flown by! It's been weeks since I've been here, after meaning to at least update weekly! Spring is in full force now here in our beautiful state. Little chilly in the mornings but warms up to fantastic afternoons so full of color! I love this time of year!!

I spent some of my morning at the nursing home with Mom and Dad. Each Sunday morning there is a Sunday school lesson that begins with a song service. I joined Daddy for the song service this morning. I love to sing praises to our Lord! I really enjoyed the time singing with my Daddy. Most of my life he has been the constant that kept us in church. He enjoys singing, teaching about the Lord. I couldnt ask for a better legacy to pass on to my kids. I pray for the Harrington's and associates who conduct this service for our nursing home bound; the residents present really enjoyed the singing!

Mom is insisting she try to stand, but her therapist wasn't comfortable doing it alone with just her and the lift, so tomorrow (Monday) they will try her legs out to see if they can support her at all. She is determined she is going to walk again and that will be good. Gives her something to work toward. I just don't encourage it because I don't want to give her false hope. Her body limits her ability to sit on the side of the bed and just do leg exercises to about 10-15 minutes maximum. Then her hip hurts and she has to lay down. The right leg she can't lift as high as the left. But, God works in mysterious ways and HIS will be done. That is where I have left it, in HIS hands! None better.

We (Michael, my husband and I with Daddy) spent yesterday afternoon working at Daddy's house. We trimmed all the trees up to where we can mow without dodging limbs. Removed "sprouts" that my Dad was letting grow that were only creating havoc for Sadie as she would just wind herself up in the young sapling trees. Helped Dad with his garden. He is insisting on a full garden, so my brother plows and I just visit with Daddy as we watch him. Daddy just can't function in the capacity he once could. His mind says you have to do this and that, but his body restricts him. And while we were all witnessing he fell, got his foot tangled in Sadie's cord as he was walking to feed Charlie. It breaks our hearts, but he keeps on going, and we are going to let him. Because Daddy has always felt if you just sit down and do nothing, you are useless and become so. What a lesson in strength and love he shows us daily. No matter the trial, keep on your path.

Baby Blake will soon be making an appearance in our world. I can't wait to get my hands on him and show him how much we all love him! We are all ready for the joys a baby brings into a family. Kameran and Jarah will have a new lil cousin to love on, and we will all grow in our shared family!

Knowing What I Know About Heaven

I came across a very beautiful song after the untimely death of my niece. It's called Knowing What I Know About Heaven and Sarah Darling is one of the talented people who have a version of it. Guy Penrod is another. Both are equally touching, amazing songs, that almost celebrate the joy of arriving in heaven.

When you really think about the song, the words touch you in a most powerful way. Why on earth would I want you back? Imagine if you will, and I'm sure you all can relate to the pain and suffering of this world. Disease, emotional, physical abuse abounds. If you had the chance to walk away from all of this, have peace and comfort in your life, wouldn't you want to chose that path? I would and I would want to take all of my family and friends with me. Because who doesn't want the best for those you love the most? Can you imagine sharing this wonderful place with each other?

Of course it is heartbreaking and sad to have someone we love so much taken from us and this earth. Our hearts break for days to years after their gone. Time makes the pain lesson in severity, and God comforts us to know they are safe. It's still a void in our lives, one we can't imagine filling, and honestly never do. But then we realize how honored we are to have had them in our lives and knowing they are resting without stress and strife just makes the journey all the more special.

Why on earth would I want you back, when you are somewhere that love never ends? Knowing what I know about Heaven....puts a smile on my face and assurance in my heart, all is well. Tell those you love, that you do love them, every single day. Share the goodness of our God, who is peaceful, loving and kind. Show your friends and family all is in His will, His way, His time.

Healthcare, Pay attention!! This is my RANT!!!

I know you are technically supposed to write daily on your blog, but my life these past weeks have not given me much time to do that.  You see, my elderly Mother has been in and out of the hospital.  Mom suffers from a variety of illnesses which combined have worn her body down.  These past days have been very frustrating in determining what is going on, believe me, healthcare has lost some of it's compassion over the years.  I feel my mother would have been swept under the carpet and just sent home to die if I didn't have some form of medical knowledge.  Many of you know I have been in the medical field since 1979, even though I am not a nurse, I have functioned as one more times than not in my career, trained on the job by some of the best physicians I have been honored to work with.  For the record, I am a manager who specializes in medical billing. 

All of that aside, I feel if I hadn't started questioning, insisting at each admission, my mom would not be here today.  I do on the other hand understand the severity of her disease and appreciate that she is with us, by the grace of God still today.  Without going into all of her medical issues, I can see where many medical malpractice cases are formed.  Several things were against her at admission.  One, shortness of breath, elderly female with chronic illness, over abundance of medication, all of which could and probably did contribute to putting her in the ER. 

Am I saying you get less care if you are elderly?  I'm afraid that is what I'm thinking.  But I happen to know different as my late 40's cousin who did not have diabetes was sent home from one of our local ER's with a blood sugar in the 400's, and she didn't have a diagnosis of diabetes.  She complained of nausea and vomiting, that is all the ER doctor treated her for, her complaint.   Completely overlooked the fact that the 400 range glucose was abnormal, didn't consider treating her for it, nor did he consult anyone else about it.  She was given medication for nausea and vomiting and sent home.  He totally missed what brought her to the ER with nausea and vomiting, assuming it was the current stomach virus going around. So age doesn't seem to be the culprit with today's physicians just missing the whole picture.  I can't caution you enough, learn about your illness, your parent's, sister, brothers illnesses.  Care about those you love, because I promise you no one else will.

I also want to tell you our local ambulance service and rescue persons are quick and well trained.  However, in the area we are in, they urged us because Mom had shortness of breath and the roads were icy, to go to the nearest hospital.  The nearest hospital is inadequately staffed to care for a chronically ill person such as my mother.  This paramedic again assured me the roads were too terrible to travel to Little Rock and we needed to go to the nearest ER which was Malvern.  If she needed stitches, then Malvern was okay, but she needed more. Malvern could not help her.  He assured me if we get her to the ER and they can't care for her they will send us on to the hospital in Little Rock.  Okay, most folks around here might buy that story, but I know that doesn't work.  He even assured me all ER's were connected electronically and they could just pull her records up on the computer and she would get the same care.  (The latter of that statement was probably the only thing he got right.)

I know they are trying to get that trauma center stuff going in Arkansas, so I gave his comment the benefit of 5 minutes consideration and said No.  He knew I understood Malvern could not help her. Then he tried to convince me to travel with her to Benton, because the roads were too bad to go to Little Rock.  I motioned for my brother to join me, because this irritating paramedic was about to lose this battle quickly and I wanted a witness.

I felt really bad for this gentleman, because he didn't know me at all.  I explained to my brother they wanted to take her to the nearest ER, because of the icy roads and wanted to travel on a icy, tree shaded, curvey highway less traveled than the one to Little Rock, how once at the ER they would admit her and we would be stuck with physicians who knew nothing about mom and certainly didn't have access to her medical records at all which would delay her treatment.  Not to mention that I threw in, I think we need to take her to Little Rock ourselves since they are refusing to do so.  The paramedic listened to how I presented it and responded they weren't refusing to take her to Little Rock, but said he would go talk to the driver and we would go to Little Rock.  I might not be the smartest cookie in the package but I know how to stay out of the milk to keep from getting soggy.

While each time the care and concern our paramedics have shown my mother has been the utmost highest regard, and I totally respect them and their duties, I'm really sorry fella.  I wanted to take her on to a hospital that had immediate access and could screw her care up just a little, rather than a lot.

Until next time my friends...may God keep you all safe!

I love YOU best....

Erma Bombeck once said a family is a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. 

I never knew she was looking into our windows on a daily basis!  Had I known, I am sure she would have never seen any of us act this way.  It is so great to know others in our world react the same as we do.  I never met Erma, but have read and savored each of her quotes and stories.  In my twenties, I thought she was so funny and had a quick saying for everything.  By my thirties I knew she was telling the truth with all her quotes.   Her wit is where I find some of my best encouragement.

In 1979 she wrote, “If I had my life to live over” and I found it inspiring.  I check it frequently to see how many of the changes she felt she missed, I had taken the time to achieve. 

My children even assumed unknowingly the “mom loves you best” roles she writes about.  My oldest son and youngest daughter are always calling my middle son Mom’s favorite.  At first it really bothered me because I love each of them equally, with every ounce of my being!  Why couldn't they see that?  Then I researched Erma and found her I love you best tribute to her children. 

She wrote to three children, which is what I have.  My oldest is our tower of strength.  He’s so loving, dependable and supportive.  He gives his time to others, loves children deeply and has laughter sealed in his heart.  My middle son is very laid back.  He enjoys a good laugh and is okay for someone else to take charge.  He is a hard worker, devoted to family, and giving to those less fortunate.  My daughter, the baby, is a whirlwind of emotions, extremely outspoken and fights for every ounce of footing having two older brothers.  She loves and respects, works hard, cares for those less fortunate, shares her joys or sorrows and treats others with respect and encouragement.

Somewhere buried deep inside their elementary school papers they will find my I love you best letter to them.  I’ve written them several times over the years, to capture why I loved them at different life stages.  Maybe then it will settle this age old battle they so joyfully engage in.  It’s quite fun to watch actually.  Their eyes all light up with mischief as they start, makes my heart swell with laughter and pride that they have a connection they all agree on, that Mom loves them best.

So, with this said, I will now close and I thank my children, who I love with all my heart.  For without them, I would not be who I am today.  I love you, Mom.

Lord, open my eyes to the love around me, and help me see how much You love me through others.

Have you ever heard of a June Bug?   Well I have, but I couldn’t recall what type of bug it was, only that we caught them by flower bush Grandma Gilbert had near the corner of her house. They were hard shelled, good flyers with sturdy, prickly legs and came out at dusk.

     We would catch these bugs and tie a long piece of thread to one of its back legs.  Once released the June bug would fly but was limited to the string leash we held.  We would play for hours with these bugs.  Grandma always had a spool of thread we could use because there were a lot of us Gilbert grand kids.  It was entertainment at its best, or so we thought.

     I decided I needed to know more facts about this wonderful toy so I did some research and found it is common in late spring and summer months. It is a nocturnal insect and active at night, feeding mainly on favored plants, such as buds and flowers of shrubs and fleshy garden vegetables.

     The June bug begins as a fat white grub.  In the larval stage the June bug lives in rich humus and leaf litter. Hatching from deeply buried eggs, the grub worm feeds mainly on roots, moldy leaves, and other plant matter. It lives underground until it molts into the adult stage.

     I wasn’t surprised to learn the grub-worm is a favorite live-bait among fishermen, because I’ve used them.  I was surprised to learn it grows up to be my favored June bug. Very few fish will refuse the chance to take a grub and I suspected there was a deeper reason for my husband’s sudden interest in my flower garden.  Birds and other wild animals like them too, feeding avidly on the fat worm.

     The adult June bug is a robust insect, reaching up to two inches in length. A true beetle, it has a set of powerful wings protected by a wing case. Exterior color can vary from pale tan to dark brown or almost black.

     A chemical analysis of the June bug revealed its hidden secrets as full of edible fats and proteins.  Toasted June bugs have a surprisingly sweet delightful taste. The flavor closely resembles thick raw molasses or crudely made ribbon cane syrup.

     They say it is difficult to eat just one.  I say give me a cane pole and a bucket of grubs.  You can find me on the river bank flying my June bug while I catch a more favorable dinner.