I’M DOING OKAY…
On Monday, January 18, 2010, I lost the most enjoyable Uncle. He meant so much to me, and inspired my heart by filling it with laughter. Minutes after he passed away, I walked out onto his carport and sobbing heavily called my Daddy and told him he was now with God. The pain was great, the loss complete, but I turned my thoughts quickly to God and asked Him to comfort me and ease this pain within my heart so that I could help my family accept and heal. I felt the heavy grief that crushed my chest instantly gone and I remember standing in awe of that realization. I knew God took care of me in my hour of need and I completely trusted He would do just that.
From the Friday my Uncle arrived at his home to that Monday feels like a 24 hour blur, even though it was longer. Recognition and acceptance of events to come, and witnessing a positive moment, hearing my Uncle rise and say, I’m doing okay, amazed and shocked us. But now that I reflect on that moment, He was okay, he was at peace and acceptable of the coming events. We had been telling him repeatedly, we loved him and it was okay. I witnessed something then I would later come to realize was God comforting us, showing us that all was going to be okay. (Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4)
Now a week later, the total impact of losing him, the ache of wanting to be with or near him, continue to hear his laughter, just see his face or hold his hand. The longing, the emptiness, I want him back!! The anger, the laughter, the tears, the sorrow, is a cycle I now find myself in. (a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance Ecclesiastes 3:4)
The devil would love for us to suffer and wallow in our grief, he expects it, and uses it to keep us in misery, wants us to fail, he needs our disaster. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that others are undergoing the same kind of sufferings and God comforts them.
I know our time of grief will be undetermined, and the awful truth is that nothing will make the grief go away. I am comforted knowing that God is there to help and sustain us through it. Reach out and take His hand. Let Him hold you and carry you through this. “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.” (James 4:8) When the feeling of grief overtakes you, instantly say Lord I need your strength, help me find memories of comfort to overcome, “And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:8-11)
We know many people who have suffered a loss. They are ready and willing to help us through this time of grief. This is what God promises. “All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) I think this is a possible reason God allows suffering, to strengthen our faith in Him so that our compassion for others will increase, we will grow in faith of Him and we'll be better able to encourage other hurting people (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
When the sorrow hits me, I pray Lord help me and I begin to “Count my blessings” by treasuring the memories and the laughter. I believe Uncle Tommy would have wanted us to do this. He lived life to the fullest. Remember the fun, his smile, his sense of humor, his last comforting words, “I’m doing okay“. We heard those words for a reason; God comforted us as did Uncle Tommy. Focus on that, not the loneliness of our heart. I also find myself sharing a funny story of him, even if I cry. My co-worker Sharon has shared grief and she is a good Christian friend and listens to my random outpourings. She doesn’t have to do this, but she is compassionate and growing in her faith as well.
I am also making sure my eating and sleeping habits return to my normal pattern. Settle back down into what was my normal routine. When I can’t sleep, I ask God to take the grief away and give me rest. I believe and trust He will do this, and He does what He has promised. Our body and the mind deals with stress much better when the nutrients needed are there and rest is so very important. Even if we didn’t sleep long, God will give us rest.
Facing a life without a father, a partner, a friend is something we all must deal with at some point in our lives. In the days that follow death, coming to terms with it, the reality of it will be very painful.
You may say “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to begin.” For myself, I know the words “I don’t know” never accomplished anything and I made it a plan years ago to delete them from my vocabulary. (With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) I can almost hear Uncle Tommy saying, I don’t know but if it was me….I understand he isn’t with us any longer to finish that sentence, but I believe with all my heart, we heard his words “I’m doing okay“, because he loved us and that should be our guide through our grief and loneliness. Through strength of prayer with God and Uncle Tommy’s words, I’m doing okay……I‘m doing okay.
Last thing I want to say to you is that Uncle Tommy possessed a great sense of humor. Everyone that knew anything about him knew this. He laughed. He would not want us to be miserable. He dealt with all of life’s stress through his own gift of laughter. Find funny memories to comfort you through your grief. They are there-laugh. Laugh at the small stuff even if you end up in tears, you began with laughter. God counts our tears (Psalm 56:8), He keeps them, for they are what makes us who we are. (A cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
LAUGH and know…. I‘m doing okay.
Tracy Gilbert Brown
January 29, 2010.
On Monday, January 18, 2010, I lost the most enjoyable Uncle. He meant so much to me, and inspired my heart by filling it with laughter. Minutes after he passed away, I walked out onto his carport and sobbing heavily called my Daddy and told him he was now with God. The pain was great, the loss complete, but I turned my thoughts quickly to God and asked Him to comfort me and ease this pain within my heart so that I could help my family accept and heal. I felt the heavy grief that crushed my chest instantly gone and I remember standing in awe of that realization. I knew God took care of me in my hour of need and I completely trusted He would do just that.
From the Friday my Uncle arrived at his home to that Monday feels like a 24 hour blur, even though it was longer. Recognition and acceptance of events to come, and witnessing a positive moment, hearing my Uncle rise and say, I’m doing okay, amazed and shocked us. But now that I reflect on that moment, He was okay, he was at peace and acceptable of the coming events. We had been telling him repeatedly, we loved him and it was okay. I witnessed something then I would later come to realize was God comforting us, showing us that all was going to be okay. (Blessed are they that mourn; for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4)
Now a week later, the total impact of losing him, the ache of wanting to be with or near him, continue to hear his laughter, just see his face or hold his hand. The longing, the emptiness, I want him back!! The anger, the laughter, the tears, the sorrow, is a cycle I now find myself in. (a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance Ecclesiastes 3:4)
The devil would love for us to suffer and wallow in our grief, he expects it, and uses it to keep us in misery, wants us to fail, he needs our disaster. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that others are undergoing the same kind of sufferings and God comforts them.
I know our time of grief will be undetermined, and the awful truth is that nothing will make the grief go away. I am comforted knowing that God is there to help and sustain us through it. Reach out and take His hand. Let Him hold you and carry you through this. “Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.” (James 4:8) When the feeling of grief overtakes you, instantly say Lord I need your strength, help me find memories of comfort to overcome, “And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." (1 Peter 5:8-11)
We know many people who have suffered a loss. They are ready and willing to help us through this time of grief. This is what God promises. “All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) I think this is a possible reason God allows suffering, to strengthen our faith in Him so that our compassion for others will increase, we will grow in faith of Him and we'll be better able to encourage other hurting people (2 Corinthians 1:3-5).
When the sorrow hits me, I pray Lord help me and I begin to “Count my blessings” by treasuring the memories and the laughter. I believe Uncle Tommy would have wanted us to do this. He lived life to the fullest. Remember the fun, his smile, his sense of humor, his last comforting words, “I’m doing okay“. We heard those words for a reason; God comforted us as did Uncle Tommy. Focus on that, not the loneliness of our heart. I also find myself sharing a funny story of him, even if I cry. My co-worker Sharon has shared grief and she is a good Christian friend and listens to my random outpourings. She doesn’t have to do this, but she is compassionate and growing in her faith as well.
I am also making sure my eating and sleeping habits return to my normal pattern. Settle back down into what was my normal routine. When I can’t sleep, I ask God to take the grief away and give me rest. I believe and trust He will do this, and He does what He has promised. Our body and the mind deals with stress much better when the nutrients needed are there and rest is so very important. Even if we didn’t sleep long, God will give us rest.
Facing a life without a father, a partner, a friend is something we all must deal with at some point in our lives. In the days that follow death, coming to terms with it, the reality of it will be very painful.
You may say “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to begin.” For myself, I know the words “I don’t know” never accomplished anything and I made it a plan years ago to delete them from my vocabulary. (With God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26) I can almost hear Uncle Tommy saying, I don’t know but if it was me….I understand he isn’t with us any longer to finish that sentence, but I believe with all my heart, we heard his words “I’m doing okay“, because he loved us and that should be our guide through our grief and loneliness. Through strength of prayer with God and Uncle Tommy’s words, I’m doing okay……I‘m doing okay.
Last thing I want to say to you is that Uncle Tommy possessed a great sense of humor. Everyone that knew anything about him knew this. He laughed. He would not want us to be miserable. He dealt with all of life’s stress through his own gift of laughter. Find funny memories to comfort you through your grief. They are there-laugh. Laugh at the small stuff even if you end up in tears, you began with laughter. God counts our tears (Psalm 56:8), He keeps them, for they are what makes us who we are. (A cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22).
LAUGH and know…. I‘m doing okay.
Tracy Gilbert Brown
January 29, 2010.
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